In this INA Board of Directors Spotlight, we get to know Rachael Lubin a little better.
Could you tell us a little about your governess Certification?
“I went to the English Nanny and Governess School in early 2012 and graduated after 12 weeks as a Certified Professional Governess. They are essentially a self-certifying body, with a curriculum based on the big British Nanny schools. American governesses aren’t typically in high-demand, as most families requiring governesses live in the Middle East or Russia, and want their Governesses to have a British passport. Therefore, I typically do traditional nanny work. But, having the title has absolutely helped me find higher quality and higher paying work.”
Can you share with us some of the biggest rewards you find in working with families in transition?
“Working with families going through major life transitions is absolutely a way for me to pay the experiences of my life forward. My parents divorced when I was in elementary school, and then two years later I moved with my brother and father across the country to start over, and THEN when I was in high school my father suddenly passed away, and I lived with my mother for the first time in over a decade. So, since my own childhood was full of major life happenings, I felt I had a unique set of skills, as well as more than a healthy dose of empathy, for families and children experiencing big changes.”
What are some frustrations about working with families in transition?
“One of the more surprising things that I’ve encountered is how often parents assume their children will make it through these chaotic events unscathed. I feel that it is my job to remind all parties that consistency (in scheduling, rules, expectations, and consequences) is key; and that giving children some extra space to explore and be creative on the particularly hard days, often allows them the mental breathing room to get not only get used to their new normal, but to process the events that have just happened.”
What are some techniques you use when getting to know a family? What are some details you pay attention in a family culture to in order to make family’s transitional period smooth for the Littles?
“One of the (possibly more unusual) things that I do at the interview is ask for a house tour. In some high-net-worth or high-profile families, this has to be asked delicately, as to not seem like I am being nosey, but I find that the manner in which they respond to this request, as well as the details they decided to point out or keep hidden, will tell me a lot about what the family values.
I’ve had house tours where I was never even shown the child’s bedroom and ones where the children’s toys were seen as a nuisance. I’ve also had tours where the parents pointed out every single pricey item in the home, from light fixtures to appliances. All of this gives me insight into what’s important to a family, and where their children place on their priority list.
One of my more revealing “get to know you” questions is, “if you have had help in the past, what is one thing you loved about that person and would like to recreate in the future, and what is one thing you are looking to change from that person’s working style”. This often gives the family the latitude to both speak respectfully of their former help (or not), and to think critically about what they really need moving forward.
Establishing trust with children, especially children whose lives are being turned upside down, is difficult. I make trust the first goal of my employment. It may take 2 weeks, 4 weeks, or 4 months for me to be able to get through a morning routine and out the door with a child tantrum-free, but I cannot move on to other goals (social-emotional, educational, etc.) without first making sure that the child trusts me as their caregiver.”
Could you tell us a little about the committees you serve on/chair and what your responsibilities and goals are with those committees?
“I chair two committees: the Nanny Track for Conference, and the Marketing and Promotions committee (formerly known as Public Relations). Early-summer through mid-Fall is filled with my work for the Conference Nanny Track. I spend a lot of time (around 100 hours) sourcing speakers, workshop presenters, and ideas for Conference. I often reach out to other Board members or Nanny friends to see what they would like to see presented at Conference, and I frequently look back at my notes from the Nanny Caucus that happens at the end of every Conference. I try and keep a running list of notes and ideas about how we can improve Conference every year. After I send out initial e-mails or make initial phone calls, I wait for responses and answer questions. After what seems like forever the Speaker Submission deadline comes, and I get to read through all of the Speaker proposals and start making decisions about who will speak at Conference. It is often very difficult to make those decisions, as factors such as topic, speaker fees and compensation, speaker experience, and presentation style have to be accounted for. Late-Fall through just before Conference I have the time to focus on any other Committee I am on that year. This year, I have several ideas to market and promote the INA and Conference, but for now, they will have to remain a secret! Shh! Often ideas have to be run by the full Board, especially because marketing the organization involves so many other parties, especially the co-Presidents. My overall goal is to make sure that our outreach to the global community is bigger than it was the year before.”