Parenthood is a journey of many twists and turns, and ups and downs. Raising a confident and capable human is a big job and it takes consistency, dedication, and lots of hard work. Whether you’re the parent of a toddler or a teen, it’s crucial to model consistency and structure. It’s not only helpful for your children, but for you as a parent, too!
But why is it essential?
Consistency helps set expectations.
Boundaries and setting expectations helps your children feel safe. When they know what’s expected of them and what boundaries they need to keep in mind, they will usually feel more secure. When changes or challenges arise – and they will – they may feel anxious, but if they have consistent routines and a solid base of what’s expected of them, they will adjust more easily to changes as they occur.
Consistency helps with behavior.
When you aren’t consistent with your discipline, expectations, or in setting boundaries, your children will likely feel less in control of their emotions and behavior. In other words, if they know what expectations or consequences are, they will be able to regulate their behavior better to stay within those guidelines. “Going with the flow” is great sometimes – but if there is no consistent structure is in place, your kids will feel out of sorts and grasping for some sense of routine or normalcy.
Here are some tips on how to start consistent routines with your children.
-Start small: find a few things that need work when it comes to behavior with your children. Implement a consistent response and approach, and make sure the parents and nanny or other caretakers are all on the same page with it. For example, if the children are required to make their bed and empty the dishwasher in the morning before school, implement the new rule and identify what the consequences are of not completing the job.
-Find routines that work: Routines help in a variety of ways. It gives kids – and adults – a sense of security and even helps them develop discipline in their habits. It can help reduce behavior meltdowns or tantrums and gives the children something to look forward to throughout the day.
-Patience is key: Cultivating consistent habits and routines in your home will take time. It’s not something that will magically come together overnight, so have patience with yourself and your children. Make sure the kids know what your expectations are when they don’t follow the rules and act on it – even if it feels hard in the moment. This shows your kids that you mean what you say and that words are important. There may be times when you have to be flexible, but that should never undercut your overall consistency. Inconsistency can feel frustrating and confusing for your kids, so if you do need to change a plan or adjust a rule or something else you’ve discussed with them, explain why that is and help them understand.
Consistent parenting does take time and energy, but the reward is worth it. You will be able to help your children be more successful in making good choices and regulating your emotions, ultimately helping them develop into a confident and kind adult.