The longer you’re a part of the world, the more you come to realize and see that you’re human and that life is full of ups and downs. And no matter how hard you try to avoid them, mistakes and failures are part of any human journey. Teaching kids at a young age that they can turn mistakes into opportunities for success is important. Keep reading for powerful ways you can help children figure out how to approach their failures in a new way.
Reframe negatives into positives.
When we speak negatively to ourselves, it can have serious impacts – self-doubt, feelings of inferiority, anxiety, and depression can easily creep in. If a failure or mistake happens, and you see the child saying, ‘I’m a failure’, it’s important to reframe that language to ‘I’m not a failure, I just made a mistake that will help me learn’. Or, maybe you’re hearing, ‘I won’t ever understand this’ and this could be reframed to ‘I can understand this if I don’t give up and take time to figure it out.’ Even though mistakes can be frustrating and disappointing, they can inspire rather than bring shame or feelings of being worthless.
Encourage discussion.
When mistakes happen, encourage openness. Talk about what happened, how it was handled (even if it wasn’t handled well), and what could be learned from the situation. If the child feels like shutting down, think about giving an example of a time when you failed or made a mistake and what you learned from that setback. For example, maybe they did poorly on a test in math and you understand what it’s like to struggle in math, too. If you can, try to relate with them on the topic, and share what you learned along the way – such as studying more ahead of time, or making time to visit the teacher during office hours to get extra help.
Use a reflection journal.
Journaling thoughts and feelings can be very helpful for people both young and old. For your kids, consider engaging in reflection by journaling. When a mistake happens, consider having the kids write down what happened and then have them analyze what went wrong and how things can improve next time. If they are too young for this, encourage them to draw a picture about the experience. Both activities are great ways to reflect and ultimately promote a growth mindset.
Teach resilience.
Children are resilient and adaptable. Talk to them about how learning from mistakes means learning to be resilient and perseverant. It’s not about being perfect.
Failures and mistakes are the prime opportunity for teaching problem solving skills. Explaining the importance of mistakes and how to use them as valuable lessons can help kids and young adults be successful well into adulthood. The result: when setbacks happen, they know it’s part of the journey and not the end all.