Trouble getting the conversation started with a young child about a difficult subject? Use children’s literature to create teachable moments when addressing specific issues with young children through every day story time.
Topics surrounding tragedies and transitions that families must face can be addressed with young children by using children’s literature to springboard to conversations on specific topics together in a nonthreatening way. Moving to a new home or city, loss of a job for a parent, new baby in the family, and death of a pet or family member are all topics that parents will most likely have to address with their children at some time. Most families experience these losses or transitions and no one can predict the age of the child or situation surrounding the events.
How this is handled with young children can be difficult for the parent, nanny and child. Not only may the parent be suffering a loss, but knowing what and how to share that with children can be difficult for anyone. The key for parents and nannies is to keep in mind what is age appropriate for the child when dealing with issues. Children usually know when something is going on in the household and can read non-verbal cues that the parent is displaying. Topics such as death and dying usually are unexpected and difficult. Parent engagement with their children does make a difference! Nannies can be a big help, too. Parents and nannies can work together to ensure the message to young children is age appropriate and clear.
Remember that sometimes during a tragedy parents and nannies can promote a positive learning environment that strengthen relationships and form lasting bonds.
By utilizing credible resources within your community and schools, calling on your family primary care physician, pediatrician, clergy, counselors, teachers and fellow parents hopefully you can navigate through the difficult times and guide children using age appropriate strategies and techniques.
Here is a list of a few books on various topics with the appropriate ages listed that are all available on the INA e-store via Amazon:
| Topic | Book Title | Author | Age Appropriate | Summary |
| Adoption/Foster Care | I Am Adopted | Lapsley, Susan | Preschool & up | A little boy explains what it means to be adopted. |
| Why Was I Adopted? | Livingston, Carole | 5 to adolescence | A simple explanation of the facts of adoption. | |
| The Chosen Baby | Wasson, Valentina | 5 to 8 years | Because they want to share their home with children, a couple adopt a boy and later a girl. | |
| Bullying | Llama Mama and the Bully Goat | Dewdney, Anna | 3 – 5 years | Llama Llama is learning lots of new things at school and making many friends. But when Gilroy Goat starts teasing him and some of their classmates, Llama Llama isn’t sure what to do. And then he remembers what his teacher told him—walk away and tell someone. It works! But then Llama Llama feels badly. Can he and Gilroy try to be friends again? |
| Stop Picking on Me (A First Look at Bullying) | Thomas, Pat and Harker, Lesley | 4 – 8 years | Barron’s A First Look At books explore the dynamics in relationships among children of preschool through early school age, and encourage kids to understand personal and social problems as a first step toward solving them. Written by an experienced psychotherapist and counselor, these books promote positive interaction among children, parents, and teachers. The language in each book is simple and direct–easy for younger children to understand. | |
| Death and Dying | Something to Remember Me By | Bosak, Susan V. | 6 and up | A girl shares many experiences with her grandmother over the years, and many times the old woman gives her a small gift to help her remember. |
| Saying Goodbye to Lulu | Demas, Corinne | 3 – 6 years | When her dog Lulu dies, a girl grieves but then continues with her life | |
| The Bug Cemetery | Hill, Frances | 4 – 7 years | Neighborhood children imaginatively stage funerals for dead bugs, but they experience real sadness following the death of a pet. | |
| I Wish I Could Hold Your Hand –: A Child’s Guide to Grief and Loss | Palmer, Pat | 9 and up | A best friend has moved away, Dad no longer lives with the family, or a favorite pet has died. This warm, comforting book gently helps grieving children identify their feelings and learn to accept and deal with them. Wonderful heart-warming illustrations and simple, direct writing help children discover that it is normal and natural to feel the pain of loss. | |
| When Good-Bye is Forever | Rock, Lois | 3 and up | All through our lives we learn to say many goodbyes. Some are easy. Some are hard. This book helps young readers to understand different sorts of good-byes and to find the strength and hope when they face the hardest good-bye of all–bereavement. | |
| Disabilities, Illnesses and Effects on Families | Our Mom Has Cancer | Ackermann, Abigail | 4 – 8 years | Two sisters, ages eleven and thirteen, describe what it was like for them when their mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent surgery and chemotherapy |
| Glasses for D.W. | Brown, Marc | 5 – 8 years | Arthur’s little sister wants to wear glasses like her brother and tries to prove she needs them. | |
| Grandfather’s Story Cloth | Gerdner, Linda | 6 and up | Ten-year-old Chersheng helps his beloved grandfather cope with his failing memory, brought on by Alzheimer’s disease, by showing him the story quilt Grandfather made after fleeing his homeland, Laos, during wartime. | |
| Ian’s Walk: A Story About Autism | Lears, Laurie | 6 to 9 years | A young girl realizes how much she cares for her autistic brother Ian when he gets lost at the park. | |
| My Little Grandmother Often Forgets | Lindbergh, Reeve | 4 to 6 years | The special bond between a beloved grandmother affected by memory loss and her devoted grandson is described in Reeve Lindbergh’s most personal book for children, one that is based on her own and her son’s relationship with her mother in the last years of her life. | |
| Pigs Make Me Sneeze | Willems, Mo | 4 to 8 years | In Pigs Make Me Sneeze!, Gerald believes he is allergic to his best friend! Will he have to stay away from Piggie forever? | |
| Transitions and other issues families face | Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families | Brown, Laurene Krasny | 3 to 6 years | Text and illustrations of dinosaur characters introduce aspects of divorce such as its causes and effects, living with a single parent, spending holidays in two separate households, and adjusting to a stepparent. |
| Fred Stays with Me! | Coffelt, Nancy | 3 to 6 years | A child describes how she lives sometimes with her mother and sometimes with her father, but her dog is her constant companion. | |
| At Daddy’s On Saturdays | Girard, Linda Walvoord | 5 to 8 years | Although her parents’ divorce causes her to feel anger, concern, and sadness, Katie discovers that she can keep a loving relationship with her father even though he lives apart from her. | |
| Julius, the Baby of the World | Henkes, Kevin | 4 to 8 years | Lilly is convinced that the arrival of her new baby brother is the worst thing that has happened in their house, until Cousin Garland comes to visit. | |
| A Terrible Thing Happened | Holmes, Margaret M. | 4 to 8 years | This gently told and tenderly illustrated story is for children who have witnessed any kind of violent or traumatic episode, including physical abuse, school or gang violence, accidents, homicide, suicide, and natural disasters such as floods or fires. | |
| Me Too! | Mayer, Mercer | 3 to 7 years | Sharing with one’s little sister can be an awful bother, but it has its rewards, too. | |
| Big Sister Now: A Story About Me and Our New Baby | Sheldon, Annette | 2 and up | A little girl gets used to sharing her parents with her baby brother and realizes there are some benefits to being a big sister now. Includes a Note to parents. |
For a more detailed list check this out: Family and Nanny Resource – Children’s Literature Book List.
A special THANK YOU to INA member Angela Riggs for sharing these resources with the INA. Angela is the Director of the Early Childhood Education Department at Sullivan University on the Louisville, Kentucky campus and International Nanny Association member since 2000.
Angela serves on the INA Board of Directors and chairs the Education Committee.