Kids come into the world as a nearly blank slate and the opportunity to pour into their lives and nurture them to find their true selves is a treasure, even on the days where you aren’t patient or calm. Raising children can be wonderful and exhausting – all at the same time. And let’s face it – there are moments where you’re so overwhelmed and stressed out, that you don’t think you’ll be able to stay calm. Here are some strategies on how to stay calm when your emotions are telling you to do otherwise.
#1: Give your children – and yourself – permission to be human.
If we see our kids being disrespectful, selfish, or being grumpy, we often feel like we need to reprimand that behavior immediately. Yes, those behaviors are not acceptable in the long term, but as a parent, it’s important to remember that your children are human, and they’ll have bad days. We as parents sometimes have bad attitudes, or we feel irritable or impatient. When we remember that we are all humans and we can’t expect to hold our kids to higher perfection standards than we have for ourselves, then the pressure is off a bit. Knowing that you and your children can make mistakes together and learn from them can help you stay calm in the moments that make you feel like freaking out.
#2: Create a calming routine for yourself.
Whether it’s waking up before your kids and having some uninterrupted time or staying up a little later after they go to bed to unwind, create and maintain a routine that allows you to relax. Write in a journal that gives you the chance to express the feelings that you had during the day, meditate or exercise each day, or spend time doing a hobby that brings you calm and a sense of joy. And, when those stressful moments do hit during the day and you feel yourself losing your composure, take a timeout. Step away from the situation by going to another room for five minutes, and take some deep breaths. Find a mantra that reminds you why it’s important to maintain your calm and repeat that to yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
#3: Focus on the bigger picture.
Your children are unique, wonderful creations and being their parent is a gift – even on the hard days. So, when they are bickering, disobeying you, or having melt down after melt down, keep the big picture in mind: these days are fleeting. Their toys and clothes won’t always be all over your house. They won’t always be arguing with each other. The days may seem long at times, but by focusing on the fact that these hard moments won’t be there forever can help you stay grounded and remain positive that there are always happy moments ahead.
You can be a calm parent! Your calm responses minimize anxiety and fearful responses from your children, and instead will create an atmosphere that cultivates harmony within the home. In the end, this is good for everyone.