The Co-Nanny Interviews: A Memoir from a Working Nanny 
By Rachael Lubin
*Names have been changed to protect both the innocent and the guilty
Antonia quit on a Thursday, an hour ahead of her scheduled shift. She was a wonderfully caring woman who took impeccable care of the infant twins, but in the end, being asked to engage more with the two older boys was a task, she abruptly decided, she simply wasn’t up for.
Interviewing Lesson #1: Know your qualifications, but also know your limits. If you love babies, but don’t enjoy preschoolers or school-age children. Don’t take a position that requires caring for those other ages.
So, the search for a new co-nanny was on. MomBoss and I poured over resumes from online and in-person agencies. We scheduled interviews (always during the most hectic part of the day, so the nanny candidates could get a real taste of the job). Meanwhile, I worked some overtime- a few hundred hours of it.
Interviewing Lesson #2: If you are ever asked to choose your own time to do a trial day or working interview, always choose the busiest hours in the day (or day of the week). This will allow you to really ask yourself if you are the best fit for a family’s needs.
Wisconsin interviewed. She was 19 and lived with her boyfriend. She was raising her younger sibling, who was in her temporary custody due to Child Protective Services intervening when things with their mother became too toxic. MomBoss really liked Wisconsin, as she was also originally from the Midwest. I think they bonded over cheese curds. During the interview, Wisconsin was a bit too chatty for what, I believed, the household I worked in needed. With four children, a full-time housekeeper, and loads of family in and out of the home all the time, we didn’t need Co-Nanny to add to the volume level. Wisconsin couldn’t come do a trial working day for several weeks. So, she was placed in the middle of the list.
Interviewing Lesson #3: Telling personal anecdotes or your life story during an interview CAN be a great icebreaker, or it can be too revealing. Use caution with the types of stories you tell.
Interviewing Lesson #4: If you are looking to be hired for a job that starts within the month, be available to interview and trial within one week of submitting your resume. If you aren’t, prepare to be passed over. Some families have the luxury of waiting for their perfect candidate, but many do not.
When California interviewed, she walked in- tall, lean, hair ironed to perfection- with a smile as big as Pacific ocean. She seemed classically, intimidatingly, cool. But when the two, big, clumsy, dogs came sniffing, her face quickly read that she was worried they would dirty her white jeans. When later in the interview they did just that, she pretended (not very well) that it didn’t bother her. As MomBoss and I tried to apologize, we also let her know that four young children, including three kids under three years old, meant a casual working environment, filled with plenty of bodily fluids on clothing at the end of an average day. We didn’t hear back from California.
Interviewing Lesson #5: If you are thinking about being a nanny, know that it’s a dirty job- dress accordingly.
Petra entered her interview disheveled, but energetic. She walked into the home to see a mostly naked 2-year-old and two screaming infants, and she immediately asked to hold a baby- we were thankful. The petite woman seemed to enjoy the busyness (read: craziness) of the large, perpetually buzzing, household. She was playful with the toddler, and her degree in Literature seemed a perfect fit for the 4th grader who was struggling in language arts. Petra came in that week to complete a couple of trial days, and we all enjoyed her. In the end, the Bosses decided she wasn’t the best fit, for reasons I, as the nanny, didn’t understand.
Interviewing Lesson #6: Come prepared to help, especially if the family is large or has multiple young children. Holding a baby, or playing with an older child, while simultaneously answering interview questions, is an excellent way of showing nanny skills like multitasking, being a self-starter, and having a can-do, pitch-in, attitude.
Interviewing Lesson #7: You can’t control who the parents hire. You may think you are the perfect fit, and even complete many wonderful trial days, but sometimes people don’t hire who we (as nannies and interviewing candidates) think they should. Do your best to move on.
Echo interviewed when I was out-of-town for a long weekend. MomBoss gleefully called me, with stories of how friendly and outgoing this wonderful new person was. She was sure she was “the one”. I came back to work with her shadowing me- literally; she wouldn’t leave me alone. I set her up in the living room with the babies, to let her play with them while I cleaned the kitchen, but not two minutes later, she had followed me; babies alone in the living room, two nannies in the kitchen. It wasn’t until months into her working as my co-nanny that MomBoss and I realized it wasn’t her friendliness that kept her constantly glued to our hips, it was that she had no idea how to play with babies, and she needed constant adult interaction. Echo lasted four months.
After months of trying, my Nanny family ended up hiring additional housekeeping help instead of an additional nanny. That isn’t always the best or most practical solution for all, but it worked for us. I absolutely loved working with so many types of nannies, because I learned something new from each one. The process proved much too much for MomBoss though, as she’s sworn off nanny hunting forever (possible silver lining: job security for myself?)!