Parents understand the selflessness and the energy – both mental and physical – that’s needed to be a parent. Parenting also requires an incredible amount of patience and there’s no doubt that you’ll run short on that from time to time. Losing your temper is bound to happen, but when it does, it can quickly make you feel ashamed and embarrassed. To keep things together – and recover when you inevitably lose it – keep in mind that there is great power in being a patient parent. Here are some tips on how to maintain patience, even when it’s hard.
Retrain Your Brain:
Being impatient is often caused in part by negative thoughts. If you retrain your brain to react with something positive, you will react in a more patient, positive way. So, instead of reacting quickly with what first comes to your head, think of short, easy phrases that set a positive mindset. For example, when you feel the urge to react impatiently, keep some positive mantras in mind, such as ‘I’m focusing on the positive in this situation’, ‘I’m grateful for my life and my children, and will stay engaged’, ‘I’m going to focus on connecting rather than reacting’, or ‘I recognize that I’m doing my best and I’m not perfect all the time’.
Recognize Triggers:
If there are things that you know trigger you, recognize those and come up with tools on how to deal with those. For example, are there specific topics, times of day, or situations that make you feel like you’re going to spiral? Name these triggers and work through them. Maybe it’s by taking five minutes in a quiet place to regroup, or it’s by closing your eyes and talking through negative emotions.
Take Care of Yourself:
Parents are notorious for giving until they are running on empty. When your cup isn’t full, it is a lot easier to lose your patience and react negatively to your children. Practicing self-care will help you feel more rejuvenated and energized, ultimately allowing you to better parent your child with patience and compassion.
Most of all, recognize that you are human. There will be days that you’re feeling irritable or short on patience, and that’s okay. There is no one-size-fits-all parenting manual that tells you how to do things, and no parent is expected to be perfect. Don’t tell yourself that you’re a bad parent for losing your patience – this is a negative mindset that doesn’t help the situation. Instead, embrace your imperfections, and work hard to practice patience, just like you would encourage your children to do.
That is the power of a patient parent.