Understanding Your Impact as a Nanny and the Importance of Self-care 

By: Tiffany Martinson

Being a nanny – it’s the job that sometimes doesn’t feel like a job (hello – building forts, hosting epic puppet shows, teaching new skills, watching ‘firsts’, making art come alive, pretending to travel through outer space – the adventures are endless). It’s also the job that feels like MORE than a job. To do it well requires you to be all in and fully present.  And when you are working with kids with different needs and schedules, working with parents with different personalities and parenting styles, and helping to manage home, it means that burn-out happens. And when it hits, it hits HARD. Even when you’re in a job you love, there comes a point when the alarm goes off and the dread descends. I know YOU know what I’m talking about.  

So, I want to take a minute and talk about the impact you have on the kids in your care and the importance – no the NECESSITY – of self-care.

As agency owners (we have a full-service nanny agency with a large backup care team), my partner and I talk to parents all the time that need childcare but are terrified at the thought of trusting the wellbeing and LIVES of their children to complete strangers.  We relate to them, letting them know that we ‘get it’ and making sure they know that every nanny on our team is not only experienced and fully vetted, but they are also PASSIONATE about what they do. Because it’s true!  

But is it always true? One of the HARDEST things about being a nanny is that you are never really able to have a bad day. And is it really possible to be amazing every single day? 

 I think so.  I’m not saying you need to be perfect, mind you.  But amazing? Yes. Amazing is a state of mind. It’s where intention and professionalism and balance intersect. 

You guys, please hear my words here. There is one universal truth about childcare that serves as an important reminder for all of us. And that is this … You are making an impact on the life of a child. How you engage and CONNECT with them literally impacts their development and how they see and interact in the world.

Take that in for a second. Sit with it. And feel the weight of that sink in. 

The connection comes in many forms – engagement, providing comfort, reading a book, meeting their basic needs (providing shelter, changing a diaper, making sure they eat. etc.), making them laugh and feel safe. 

And CONNECTION requires INTENTION.

Intention is the foundational building block for truly having that positive impact that we’re talking about. Intention is a mindset.  Intention is a commitment. Intention is a VERB. 

So, how do you set your intentions as a nanny?  Even though this is a topic I could dive headfirst into and talk your ears off about, I think we can start with three easy steps. 

1. Make sure the job you are in (or are about to accept) is a good match for you.  In a job where you struggle to connect with the kids?  On totally different pages than the parents when it comes to philosophy? Like the hours and the pay but something feels off? Plan your exit.  The children entrusted to your care deserve to have your whole, happy and unstressed self. And frankly? You deserve to feel peace, satisfaction, and purpose in your work. Step one means making sure you have the right job that allows you to be your best.
   
2. Be professional. Set boundaries. Check your personal life at the door.  Or better yet, leave it at home. I know that sounds harsh – I have BEEN THERE!  I have shown up to work when I literally had ZERO sleep the night before because the newborn I was doing overnights with had a TOUGH night.  I have put my best foot forward during an incredibly difficult breakup. I’m not saying anything here that doesn’t apply to me as well. We know that one of the best aspects of this job is forming and building relationships with client families.  Heck, I still am in contact with most of the families I nannied for and they are relationships I cherish. But, please never forgot that first and foremost, you are there in a professional capacity. When you share your woes, when you do not bring your A-Game, not only will not be your best for the kids, you will immediately make the parents uneasy. They need to walk out the door knowing you are fully present and in control. You were hired as an experienced, engaged, responsible, dedicated and nurturing industry professional – and that is what always needs to shine through. Set your mind to making it a great day. Come on time with a smile on your face. Come with ideas for activities/projects with themes for the day or week. Teach the kids new things!  Go above and beyond. Your relationship woes, your family or financial challenges, your social media, your struggles with depression – those belong with your friends, loved ones, peers and therapists – and in your free time.
   
3. Remember the Golden Rule – Treat the kids, the parents and the family’s home the way you would want another person to treat your children, your loved ones and your personal space. 

Now, let’s take a minute to talk about the importance of self-care. 

Here’s a hard truth:  If you are not making it a priority to spend time taking care of yourself (physically and emotionally), you will not be truly capable of caring for others. Yes, you can ensure that parents are coming home to kids that are ALIVE at the end of the day.  But that is not what we are talking about here. 

Most of you KNOW what you need to do to care for yourself, but in case you need some ideas, I can think of several! 

1. Get outside and connect with nature.  Ever notice when you’re having a hard day with a toddler that things can immediately turn around when you go outside?  Welp, it works for you too!
2. Treat yourself to your favorite meal – better yet, share said meal with someone you love
3. Get a pedicure, facial or massage 
4. Take your vacations and personal days.  And put them to good use! 
5. Have a dance party (it doesn’t only work for making your littles happy).  And if you need inspiration, reach out to my partner Mara. For real, she has disco lights and a smoke machine. That girl KNOWS how to have a proper dance party and I am sure she would be more than happy to provide some tips. 
6. Connect with other INA nannies and nanny groups in your area – because they GET IT 
7. Have a Netflix day – and let me know if you have any show recommendations! 
8. Have a hard workout (healthy – both for your body and an outlet for frustration!)
9. Plan a trip. Then take said trip.  Unplug and recharge 
10. Try a new activity!  And if any of you take up Scuba, please message me – I am always looking for new dive buddies! 

You get the idea.  Be your best. Do your best.  Take care of you. 

Because you are a difference-maker.  You are a life changer.  Thanks for all you do! 

Tiffany Martinson has been serving the nanny community for over 20 years. She started working as a nanny to put herself through college and after pursuing a degree in electrical engineering from the University of Washington, realized that her true love was that of connecting families with exceptional caregivers. She worked her way up from nanny recruiter, to operations manager to her favorite role yet – that of COO of Sound Care Agency. Her heart for service, her beloved time as a nanny, her years as a recruiter, her dedication to always practicing and promoting best industry standards, her dedication to giving back to the community through attending and speaking at Industry conferences and her spot-on Mom instincts have given her a unique perspective and invaluable qualifications for family / nanny matchmaking. When Tiffany is not hard at work, you will likely find her behind the lens of a camera capturing moments with her favorite beings on earth – her amazing husband and three adorable children.

* THE VIEWS AND OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS ARTICLE ARE THOSE OF THE AUTHORS AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE OFFICIAL POLICY OR POSITION OF THE INTERNATIONAL NANNY ASSOCIATION. THE CONTENTS OF THIS BLOG POST ARE INTENDED TO CONVEY GENERAL INFORMATION ONLY AND NOT TO PROVIDE LEGAL ADVICE OR OPINIONS. THE CONTENTS OF THIS POST SHOULD NOT BE CONSTRUED AS, AND SHOULD NOT BE RELIED UPON FOR, LEGAL OR TAX ADVICE IN ANY PARTICULAR CIRCUMSTANCE OR FACT SITUATION. THE INFORMATION PRESENTED IN THIS POST MAY NOT REFLECT THE MOST CURRENT LEGAL DEVELOPMENTS. NO ACTION SHOULD BE TAKEN IN RELIANCE ON THE INFORMATION CONTAINED IN THIS POST THE INA DISCLAIM ALL LIABILITY IN RESPECT TO ACTIONS TAKEN OR NOT TAKEN BASED ON ANY OR ALL OF THE CONTENTS OF THIS POST TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW. THE INTERNATIONAL NANNY ASSOCIATION RECOMMENDS THAT AN ATTORNEY SHOULD BE CONTACTED FOR ADVICE ON SPECIFIC LEGAL ISSUES.